Overflowing with answers to prayer...Nine, actually.

Jose's favorite Psalm (he memorized it on his own a while ago) is 

Psalm 23:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord 

forever."

"My cup overflows..." I love this. 

Actually, I think it's more like our home overflows... with more than his goodness and love; with his children and their beautiful hearts he is shaping to be more like his every day. 

Jose with one of his drawings

This morning I prayed God would do big things today. That God would bless mine & Lisa's time at the dump in La Ceiba and for Him to protect us, guide us, and use us in bigger ways than we could ever plan.

This morning we left the house with a car full of medicine and bandages.
This evening we came back with a car full of groceries and two more children.

YES. God blessed us with two more beautiful, bright, loving boys to be a part of this home He has given us.

I was planning on posting about interesting stuff I've helped with at the dump. Like everything from prescribing antibiotics for a severely infected leg, to helping one of the local gang leaders feel better when he had the flu. And everything in between.

But tonight isn't a night for a blog post like that. And YES there are endless stories about medical stuff, people's lives, and meaningful interactions at the dump.

Tonight is about letting go, so God can rush in and bless you with SO much that your soul will overflow with joy and peace. And the knowledge that He is good. And that He sees the hurts. He knows the needs. And that He is powerful, and mighty to save. One worship song the boys never get tired of is "Poderoso Para Salvar" (Mighty to Save) . He has the power to save, and He has the love to rescue each and every one of his precious children.

And that's what happened today. These two boys have been living basically unsupervised for a while now. They were living at the dump in one of the sketchiest parts of La Ceiba. Miraculously, (and yes, I DO mean that literally), they have continued in school and aren't behind in their studies. They're actually way ahead of a lot of kids their age, considering most kids start school when they're older (or have to drop out while they're young) because their family can't afford to send them to school.
The boys' mom and her current boyfriend are both in jail for being drug dealers (surprisingly, the law enforcement actually did something about a cocaine problem. See my last blog about this country's corruption here: "Dear Mr. President.." blog post ), their dad is out of the picture, and so their aunt has been housing them.
With multiple threats from strangers saying they were going to kidnap the two of them, on top of the local violence and danger of living in that neighborhood to begin with, these two boys were in a bad place. They both celebrated their birthdays last week (13 and 15 years old), and long story short they were promised they would so something to celebrate but were left at home waiting and no one came. (And YES!! I already bought ingredients to make them a cake and we're going to surprise them and celebrate later this week :)  )

And yet these boys have good attitudes. And they're well behaved. And great students (and excellent readers!!). They are different than most of the 'street kids' we know, and that we currently have in our home. I think God has been working on them for a long time now, and we are the next chapter of their journey on the road full of blessings our Father has in store for them. And even though I'm not sure they believe in Christ, they have open hearts and participate in our twice daily Bible studies. And they both have calm and loving spirits that we couldn't help but notice right away. God has BIG things in store for them and I'm excited to see them grow in Him and further His kingdom here in Honduras!

But how do we just add two more kids, you ask?? Well, their mom heard about Lisa and what she's doing with other street kids and kids whose parents can't provide for them, and through the grapevine she told Lisa to please take her two sons home with her (reminder: she's in jail, and is actually concerned about her kids and looking out for them even while not physically there. This is RARE. This is huge!)
Lisa and I have been praying about this for about a week now, and today when we showed up to talk to them, they had their bags already packed and their Aunt assumed we were taking them today. Although taken a little off guard, after talking with them more, we felt the Spirit lead us to officially invite them to be a part of Lisa's home here in Balfate. :)

But this was only possible because one of her boys who has been in and out of the house (deciding he wants to leave, but then coming back, etc) decided to return to his home in the dump for good this time. As heartbreaking as this is, he did not want to continue going to school and that is one of the conditions for living at Lisa's home. And if someone's heart is not truly wanting to work hard and have a better future--there is only so much you can do to encourage this person to want this until they have to decide for themselves if that's what they want or not. And sadly, he chose to return to the dump.

And although it is heartbreaking to see one child leave, we were blessed with not one, but TWO new additions to our home today. And I know God is looking after all three of them--whether or not one of them is under the same roof as us anymore.

So, in the past few weeks we went from 7 boys, to 8 boys, and then down to 7 and up to 9 today. :)

So tomorrow is our first full day as a bigger family. And I'm excited for this cambio bonito en Lisa and the boys' lives. And although it is bitter sweet to think that I'm only here for another week and a half (WHERE IN THE WORLD DID NOVEMBER GO!??!!) and will only be here for the beginning of this next adventure, it also is a reminder for me that God will continue to do big things here. Every day and every week he has something incredible in the works. He will send more people to come alongside Lisa and love on these boys!! People to hug them, read with them, teach them, listen to them, play with them, discipline them, be a good example to them, and serve them with hearts set out to fall deeper in love with the One who loved us first.

Lazy Sunday morning snuggles with Jeremias! And coffee, of course. 

And, I can't wait to come back soon and see how much they all have grown. :)

Which reminds me...

1) I'm collecting SOCCER STUFF for the boys' Christmas presents!!! If you have soccer stuff you're not using anymore or know of anyone who has kids who have grown out of their old soccer gear--I know some boys who would LOVE to receive those for Christmas!! Message me on facebook or email me at srtamariemiller@gmail.com
**Needed: Cleats, shorts, socks, jerseys/athletic t-shirts, athletic sweatshirts/sweatpants, ANYTHING soccer would be put to good use here in a home full of soccer players!!!!**
ALL sizes are needed. The youngest boy is 11 years old and the oldest is 17. Anything and everything helps!! 
(I will collect everything mid-late December while I'm back in Bend and send it out hopefully by January 1st so it will get to the boys as a late Christmas/New Year's gift.)

2) VOLUNTEERS. Please pray that Lisa's home would always have a steady flow of volunteers to come alongside her and help her bless these kids. Pray for both short term and long term people to come and serve here with her. And if you yourself are interested, I encourage you to pray about it and ask God to do big things in your life! Maybe he's calling you to missions in Honduras or somewhere else--but saying "Yes" to missions here has been one of the most important decisions I've made in my life so far.

If you would like to pray for each boy individually, here is a list of their names below:
-Melvin and Jose (brothers)
-Gelsin, Jeremias, and Isaias (brothers)
-Ever
-Oder
-Franklin and Enil (brothers, the ones who just became part of the family!)

Thank you for all of your support, prayers, and words of encouragement!!! Know that you are making a difference in not just my life, but in these boys' lives too!

Bendiciones,
Maria

Gracias. Even without coffee...

As I soak up this precious time of having electricity and internet access for an hour or two (as we're chillin at the hospital that has a good generator), I'd like to post a message of praise and thankfulness.

Adventure day hiking up in the mountains!!

The past two days we've experienced an incredible rainstorm that hasn't stopped and looks like it won't let up anytime soon. I have never heard rain fall so loudly in my life!! This also means no electricity, water, internet, etc. (And...no showers...and no COFFEE...) 

But! Although the boys are going a little stir crazy (because we don't want them running around outside covered in mud, since they can't shower afterward), it's reminded me how little I actually need and what things feel like 'needs' but are really just blessings I've been accustomed to. 

Like running water. Electricity. A pot of coffee in the morning. Being able to do laundry without it depending on the weather. Flushing the toilet. Showering whenever I want. Actually, just having a working shower at all. And, all my food in the fridge not going bad because we've had no electricity for almost 2 days. 

And during the past two days, it's given us an opportunity to spend time with the boys in the house all together and be creative. I taught the boys how to play "Telephone" and we all sat in a circle and played that last night with contagious laughter filling the living room. :) And telling scary stories in the dark before we go to bed. And cozying up with mugs full of hot tea wrapped up in blankets and just being together. Not doing anything, just being together. 

Right now we're up at the hospital in an extra building (they have a huge generator that works) and the boys are doing some exercises and games like "duck, duck, goose" to spend some of their incredibly large amount of energy. Lisa and I brought our computers and phones to charge...and of course, the coffee pot and two mugs with some samitas to munch on while we're here. :) I'm glad Lisa and I are on the same page as far as the importance of a few cups of coffee in the morning...  :)

Just to comfort my family, here's proof that I'm alive and well! haha :)

But today, although I'm not at home in Oregon for the first time for a major holiday, I feel at home here. And I have family here. And today I am thankful for the families God has blessed me with wherever I go. Whether it's here in Balfate with seven ninos from the streets of La Ceiba curled up on my lap, covering me with hugs and laughter, and the friendship of a woman who is both my friend and teacher with how she lives and loves the Lord. Or the families of some of my best friends like the Kruegers and the Schellers who welcome me into their homes like I'm their daughter. Or my close friends who have really become my sisters and my brothers. And of course, my actual family too!! I'm going to miss them so much when I move to Portland soon, but I am beyond grateful for growing up in a home where loving God and each other were first priority. 

Gelsin when he was sick..wearing the bear's sweater on his head...

And I'm also thankful that our home didn't flood last night!! The river close to our house flooded all the way up to the gate in front of our house. Thank you Jesus for stopping the waters!

Some of the boys playing marbles with their friends :)

Last night I couldn't sleep, but sitting on my bed with this song on repeat: "You Know Me" song, I listened to the rain pour down all around my little casita. I've never heard rain so loud and so powerful--it sounded like buckets of little rocks being dumped onto my tin roof, continuously. And in my empty house, with the storm raging outside, I was still. I was still in the presence of our Father. And it's moments like these that I wish I could bottle up and save them for when I'm doubting or struggling down the road, and open the jar and taste the sweet, sweet rainstorm with just me and God and stillness. And rain. And his mercy pouring down, breaking through the clouds with no end in sight. It never stops. He is always good. He is always Holy. He is always the Almighty. He is always our Father. He is always my Savior.
And right now, I am enjoying this stillness. Even in the chaos of when our day doesn't go quite as we'd planned it to be. Or even when there's no showers, electricity, or coffee. Jesus welcomes us into His stillness. And it is my favorite place to rest.

View from hiking WAY up high into the mountains with the boys last week

Dear Mr. President...

You've heard it a million times in health class, school assemblies, etc: Drugs ruin lives. Drugs ruin families. Drugs ruin futures. But it's not until an entire country is saturated with cocaine that we can now add to the list that drugs ruin countries. Like Honduras, for example.

I haven't posted much about the state of Honduras' government and status of the country as a whole, except for the fact that your prayers for my safety are much appreciated. And they still are!! And it's a tricky balance to explain how dangerous and violent this country is without freaking everyone out and people wondering why I'm even here. My response? God has called me here. And although I know a lot of my family would prefer me to be doing mission work in a different country, my heart wouldn't be the same somewhere else, knowing that where God wants me is here; in Honduras.

Honduras is the "murder capital of the world". Literally, it is. It has been equated to the same level of danger as Sudan and is the most dangerous place outside of an actual war zone. There's only 8 million people who live here, but it has maintained the highest murder rate in the world over recent years, with the current numbers of 20 youth murdered every day. For women, the rate is 1 woman is murdered every 15 hours. Below is a link to an article that's pretty accurate describing the violence and corruption (although the statistics aren't super accurate).
"Welcome to the world's most dangerous country" article

Although cocaine is a major part of the problem, this violence is more than just a drug war. It's also corruption in every area that the country needs the most help. The youth grow up in neighborhoods with gangs that have no problem killing someone (even as an order from another gang member, without asking why they need to kill the person beforehand), the police are corrupt, the government is far from even being semi-efficient or just, and basically anything goes.

Most of the extremely dangerous threats are in the major cities like La Ceiba, Tegucigalpa, and San Pedro. But that's not to downplay the more "moderate" danger in smaller towns and out in the countryside, like where I'm living right now. I'm an hour from La Ceiba (nearest city where we grocery shop and take care of banking, official documents, get our cars repaired, etc) and even out here we have to take precautions. I haven't walked anywhere alone since I arrived, and I don't plan to. Even in the middle of the day just walking 5 minutes down the block I make sure to have one of the boys with me. Whenever I leave the house I make sure I have...pepper spray, my knife, flashlight, first aid kit, cellphone, and just a few dollars on me in case someone does threaten me for my wallet, I won't be losing that much money. If it's dark I'm home for the night, or Lisa and I drive if we need to go somewhere.

Doing and teaching wound care at the dump in La Ceiba

Unfortunately, the police are no help. In fact, they will rip you off if they get the chance. Police can pull you over for whatever reason and give you a hard time asking to see your license, registration, etc just because they can. And they'll make up some excuse to fine you for what ever sum of money they feel like taking. And yes, that cash goes straight into their back pocket and none of it is ever documented. And if you're caught without your seatbelt or some other legitimate excuse to be pulled over, since they really can give you a ticket, they inflate the fee as much as they want. Every time we drive by the police we say a prayer they won't bother us. And so far this trip, we've only been pulled over once (just randomly) but they didn't give us a hard time and sent us on our way.

Speaking of the police, only 2% of reports they receive are actually investigated. TWO PERCENT. And most assaults or murders aren't even reported (especially if they're gang related) out of fear of more negative repercussions. For example: if there was gang involvement, they would catch wind somehow (aka a corrupt police officer would tell them) who reported the crime and the gang would take matters into their own hands from there.

Unfortunately, that's not where the story ends. The law enforcement is also controlled by the gangs here. For example, one of the sketchiest most violent drug circles in La Ceiba is literally located RIGHT BEHIND the police station. Essentially, the drug lords hang out in the police's backyard. How is this possible? Simple. The police are both threatened and paid off by the druggies to not interfere, and in some cases actually work for them and to protect them.

Now, on to politics. Oh, joy. You know, I never really have been that interested in politics, but here I kind of have to be aware of what's going on for my safety. And, the presidential election IS the reason I started writing this post anyway...but I felt a general knowledge of everything else was necessary for everyone to understand the importance of this weekend's elections.

So here's a little back story for this upcoming election....which takes place tomorrow:

Manuel Zelaya is a member of the Red Party and was the president of Honduras from 2006-2009. At the end of his presidency, he was ousted from office by a national vote. (A lot of the media reports it was a political coup with the military booting him from office...But there was an official vote to decide it.) He was kicked out of office and exiled from the country because he was trying to change the constitution to allow presidents (himself) to extend his 4 year presidency to 8 years. Eventually, he was officially charged of treason and abuse of power. During his exile he attempted multiple times to fly into different airports on his private plane, but cars and trucks lined up to block the runway to prevent it from landing. He also attempted to sneak through the border from surrounding countries several times.

So naturally, his WIFE is running for president this time around...Which means she will be the face of the campaign and he will be behind the majority of her decisions as president if she wins. Xiomara (his wife) is promising to raise minimum wage (inflating costs that actually forces businesses to downsize how many workers they can afford to pay, aka people losing jobs instead of making more money...which is exactly what her husband did), and promising to remedy the country's drug war, poverty, education system, etc...What the media doesn't report is that she is paying the poorest of the poor people in exchange for their vote of support. Also, her ultimate goal is to kick out all foreigners, especially Americans, and make herself (and therefore her husband working behind the scenes), ruling as a dictator of the country.

Juan Orlando is running for the Blue Party, and he is corrupt and not a good choice for president either, but he has less strikes against him in my book. Unfortunately, the public is not well-informed and in need of money (hence Xiomara's $ for vote deals...) to even have all the facts (no computer available to actually research the candidates), and to make well informed decision of who to vote for.

And, in the past few weeks there has been talk about if Xiomara (Red Party) doesn't win...she plans on causing chaos in the country as a reaction to her losing the election. Which, also doesn't make sense because why would you harm a country you said you wanted to lead? Oh wait, that's right...maybe the people's best interest is not what she had in mind. Remember, she's also married to the ex-President who was kicked out for very legitimate reasons.

Here is a link to an article --> ( Xiomara Red Party and femicide rates ) that briefly explains Xiomara's campaign in Honduras and the factors of her ex-president husband and her role as a woman in a macho society...which it IS surprising she has this much support since she could be the first female president in Honduras history.

Snuggling with Jose and Jeremias 

So, now to this weekend. There are currently military personnel, well...everywhere. We are expecting at least some level of chaos and violence on election day (tomorrow, Sunday) so Lisa, the boys, and I will be staying home.

Jose' with two baby birds he found :)

Please pray for the right candidate to win and for there to be no major crisis or violence in the country tomorrow. Even though I personally think both candidates have more con's than pro's, God knows what's going on here and we need to ask Him to place his hand over this country that's rapidly falling apart.

And I apologize for this blog post being the length of a short novel, but prayer for tomorrow's elections is all I ask for right now. The future of Honduras for the next 4 years will be determined tomorrow afternoon, and I felt everyone needed to know what kind of shape it's in right now in order to see how badly it needs major healing and a decent President to run this crumbling country.

As sketchy as this place can be, I want you to know I'm taking every reasonable precaution for the safety of me and the boys. And it's things you just get into the habit of doing: lock the car doors, lock the door when you leave the house, wear modest clothing, don't acknowledge (they take that as encouragement) people's vulgar comments & whistles when you walk down the street, don't go out when it's dark, avoid sketchy areas, etc.

Although I take precautions, I am also not living in fear. Yes, not being stupid/naive is important, but it is equally important to not let the fear of "what if..." compromise how I live here and how I serve here. I know God sent me here, and that is according to His perfect will and perfect plan for my life. And there is an incredible peace that I can't even describe, yet alone write it out, that transcends all of the evil here.

Ever's drawing "Jose' and Maria" during English lessons

When I go out, He is with me. When I am at home, He is with me. When I'm playing with the boys at the beach, He is with me. When I'm cleaning infected wounds at the dump in La Ceiba, He is with me. And when my heart is breaking for all the brokenness and hurt in this country, He is with me.

God is with me wherever I go, and in that I put all my faith.

A passage I read with the boys during our morning devotional particularly spoke to me. It's in Romans chapter 8, verses 31-39.

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?...Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Gelsin at the beach

Here is the song that I always come back to during this journey -->  "Oceans" by Hillsong United

Breaking chains, breaking hearts, and break throughs.

My heart is both full of joy and breaking to pieces this past week. As I spend more time with the boys, they're opening up to me and I'm able to see more clearly what they struggle with now, and how their painful pasts play a role in the way they think and understand things. But before I dive into that, here's a picture of the boys & their friends playing soccer on the beach! 95 degrees and no rain this weekend!

Playa at La Casa de Ninos

I don't even know where to begin. There is SO much to say, most of which I don't even know how to put into words even if I had the time to write it all down.

I post pictures of me and the boys like this one below, and I know everyone has the impression that I'm

teaching and helping take care of 6 Honduran foster kids (the 7th boy is the oldest & is really independent & has his own responsibilites). And this is true--they are foster kids that my friend Lisa is raising and I am living with them and coming along side her to love them and help them grow both spiritually & in their education.
And they have so much LOVE in their hearts for both me and Lisa. I am always greeted with a hug good morning & good night from them and countless hugs or someone snuggled up next to me while I read, etc constantly during the day. And they LOVE to learn more about God and are excited to read the Bible aloud during our twice daily scripture time. Hearing them read the Word moves me in a way I can't even explain. The Holy Spirit is alive and working in this home and I can hear it in their voices and see it in their eyes.
But everything is not so "happy go lucky" around here all the time. These children come from homes (or the street/dump in La Ceiba) having grown up in a childhood saturated with abuse, drugs, alcohol, gangs, violence, being threatened, and some of them in near-death situations more than once. These children are all between the ages of 11 and 15 years old.

I haven't really gone into detail about any of the boys' stories yet, because I wasn't quite sure what to share, or how to explain it after I shared it.

Below is a video that another woman my age made after her time here about a year and a half ago with the boys. Please do watch the video, but know before watching it that it's not easy to hear Melvin's story, and it is especially heartbreaking to know that he is not the only one who grew up enduring what he has.

Click on this to watch "Melvin's Story"

Melvin's story is just that--HIS story. Each child here comes from an equally heartbreaking past and has different struggles and brokenness because of it. Melvin's brother Jose, like the end of the video said, was stabbed over 35 times by a complete stranger because a guard ordered the druggie to kill him, after hearing who he was and the crimes he was involved in. Jose did not know either man involved in this. He was literally walking down the street in the middle of the day when this happened. Long story short, Jose was left lying there to die in the street, lying in a pool of his own blood, but God rescued him and an ambulance just happened to be parked around the corner when he stumbled down the block & was then rushed to the hospital. This is especially moving because the healthcare system here is very inefficient and you almost never see an ambulance, so the fact that there just so happened to be one around the corner is truly a miracle.

Each of the 6 boys I'm here with have a different story. A different past. A different pain. But they are loved by the same powerful God that sought them out and pulled them out of the ditch (literally), a horror-movie status abusive home, a garbage dump (literally), a community run by gangs instead of law enforcement, and one boy out of a life that was completely dependent on cocaine and would do anything for it.

God did not forget about them. These are not just some statistic numbers on a world map. These are His children, and He fights for their lives. He cares for them. He provides for them. And even when they turn away (or run away from Lisa's house...) He protects them.

Just this past week, four of the 6 boys said they were running away and packed bags to go because something trivial upset them. And unfortunately, that is the response of many Honduran men here. They leave when they are upset--many Honduran men have a wife and a few kids and one day decide they've had enough, and leave. Not long after, they've met someone new and started a new family wanting to have nothing to do with their original wife & kids. And these boys see that everywhere. Some of them are that "first family".

God is molding and shaping their hearts and minds into something more beautiful every day. And when they make crazy decisions, say ugly things, and act out in anger or violence--God brings them back. He somehow uses Lisa and I to show them grace after they've chosen something extremely harmful to themselves or to others. And although the hurt and the anger happens, the grace overflows and overwhelms it, no matter how extreme or how deep the wound is.

One of my best friends referred to Lisa's boys as "the lost boys" one time when I asked her to pray for my trip while I was figuring out the details of getting ready to go to Honduras. (And yes, this is a Peter Pan reference to these kids growing up on the street without any parents & could literally do whatever they want, especially since they weren't in school.)
And today I'm reminded of how perfect that is--they were lost. Forgotten. Neglected. In the spiritually darkest areas of one of the most dangerous cities, in THE most violent country in the world.
And their Father searched for them, sought them out--to find them.
They are found.

They are no longer the "lost boys". They are children who have come home & know their true Father. The Father that will never leave them or move on from them. He is here to stay with them.
They are found.

Please pray for their hearts and minds to continue to heal & grow stronger in their faith and love for everything that is good, and not be drawn back into the unhealthy life they used to have that still has a power over them sometimes. It is incredible how strong the pull can be to something they know is unhealthy and incredibly dangerous--and yet the enemy uses this and twists it in their minds to make it tempting to go back.

People talk about "spiritual battles" or "spiritual warfare" in church. And it's one thing to learn about it or talk about the idea of it.
But it is another to feel it. And to see it right in front of you.

We went to church last Sunday night and it was me, Lisa and all seven boys sitting in the refreshingly cool (70 degrees maybe?) night time service at a church a few minutes away from our house. Churches here are kind of built like a simple, big open square with cement floor and windows without glass, but just metal bars in the window to keep people from robbing or vandalizing. Which means if someone is outside the window, you can hear their entire conversation because there's no glass--it's like there's an open door there. Now that you've got a mental picture, back to my thoughts on spiritual warfare.
As I'm listening to the sermon, I feel like someone is watching me. And I shake it off & think I'm just being paranoid. But then I look to my right and see three men standing outside, just standing there. Not saying anything--but just looking at me. And I realize there are more men creeping in the shadowy window, some drunk and some not, just standing there. Looking at people and making comments that I luckily didn't hear what they said. The windows are close enough to the rows of seats that they are two feet away from the person at the end of the row while they stand there. And this is a small town--everyone knows everyone!! Everyone here knows who I am, and I know almost no one in Balfate (most of my friends live in La Quinta just down the road), since the second day I go here. These men have absolutely no problem with creeping on women and making very crude comments about them, WHILE the pastor is preaching to the congregation. Once I noticed them, I didn't look back that direction for the rest of church, so they didn't think I noticed or was encouraging them. Just like the men in the streets--just keep walking and don't acknowledge them as they try to get your attention. But we were in a church, not the street. (Side note--there's not always people creepin in the windows, but it's also not uncommon for them to be there.) And I saw the spiritual warfare in a new light (which seems to be a continual pattern recently. God is doing big things in my heart this week!! He is so good. :) ) These people are gathered in this place to learn about and worship God, and they are literally surrounded by evil. Evil thoughts, suggestive comments, inappropriate actions, and basically people mocking the fact they're holding a church service by them even doing these inappropriate things. And even though I felt we were surrounded by darkness, I also believe we were covered in light and the church was filled by God's power, His presence, and His protection.
He is here.
Honduras is not just the most dangerous country in the world right now, but I believe it is also one of the most spiritually darkest places too. Which means when God works here, He shines.

And he makes waves and shakes the sickly foundation this country has built itself upon. One person at a time.
Tomorrow I'm going with Lisa to the dump in Ceiba. Please pray for our safety and that God would use us to continue to break the bonds of the suffering, violence, and drugs in that area.

As some of you might have seen in the media lately, Honduras is a very unstable country right now. And that is an incredible understatement of the reality of how bad it is here. My next blog post will be about the upcoming election on Sunday (PLEASE KEEP THIS IN YOUR PRAYERS--IT IS CRUCIAL FOR THE INSTABILITY OF THIS COUNTRY AS A WHOLE), and the drug/gangs that are more powerful than the police force at this point.

But! To end on a happy note, here are some pics from the past two weeks! :)

Walking to the soccer field!

Visiting my friends from last time I was here, growing up so quick! 

Adventure to the river!!

Afternoon in paradise :)

Falling in love...

I had no idea I could fall in love so quickly, or so deeply.
Today I spent time with the boys being "mom" for an afternoon (they only have school for a few hours in the morning & are home by noon) while Lisa went to the city to run a list of errands. I made sure all seven of them did their homework from school (they have one more week left), did their chores, got along with each other, etc.

Afterwards, I split them into two groups of three and taught each group their first English lesson. (First lesson with me at least--because some of them have had English lessons previously, but nothing consistent.)
I have never seen children SO eager to learn something new!! Especially since they don't learn English in school, they know this is an opportunity that not everyone receives. Although they are still pre-teen boys, (with an incredible amount of energy, especially when they're all together...) and it takes patience to teach them, I am so excited to see what they can learn in these next 6 weeks. They are already learning so much! And a lot of that is because of their own motivation to learn--THANK YOU for the prayers over this!! These boys welcomed me with open arms & actually ask me "Can we do the English lesson yet?!" during the afternoon...but part of me thinks that's just so they can avoid doing their chores... ;)

After an exhausting day, I sat down on the couch to join the boys watching "A Series of Unfortunate Events" (first time I had seen that in Spanish! haha) and Isaias (one of the twins) snuggled up to me and laid on my lap. These boys are so loving...When I wake up "buenos dias!" in a cute little voice is the first thing I hear. And the last thing I am blessed with before they go to bed is a huge hug from each of them and a smile I wish pictures could capture. And throughout the day I almost always have a boy at my side with his arm around my waist, or someone snuggled up next to me when I'm sitting down. Even if I'm just cruising through facebook, the boys just sit there and relax with me--and occasionally ask questions about some of the weird stuff you guys post. haha!!

Even in one of the most heartbreaking and suffering places in the world, there is hope. And God is doing BIG things here. With each child that comes to Him, is another for the Kingdom. And you can see it in their eyes--even though they struggle with things that break my heart for any child to experience or even have grown up around, they have so much joy. And you can see it in their eyes, and feel it in their hugs. :)

And I feel blessed to know them and to see them grow each day...And I've only been here TWO days. But hearing of their stories before I came on this trip, I already loved them before I even met them. But now that I'm living with them and experiencing life with them, I cherish every moment I have because at only two days in and feeling this way...I don't even want to think how quickly 6 weeks will go by and I will have to say "goodbye" to them until the next time I'm here.

Gelsin, Me, Evert, y Jose

Please pray for...
-The kids to do well on their last day of exams tomorrow!
-Continued protection for me, Lisa, and the boys.
-That Lisa would be filled with a supernatural amount of energy and ability to do everything she is in charge of and all the random things that always come up that get in the way of any type of daily routine.
-Energy for me, that I would quickly adjust to everything here & be able to serve in the most ways possible.
-Evert, one of the youngest, that he would be encouraged in his studies & continue to learn so quickly like he already is.

Bend --> Balfate.

Thank you everyone for all of your prayers!!! I had the most stress-free, easy travel yesterday between planes, buses, and cars from Bend to Balfate. Even though I was awake for about 36 hours and traveling for 26 of them, Gracias a Dios--I slept for a few hours on the plane. Which truly is an answer to prayer because I'm almost never able to do that. (And I enjoyed some delicious coffee along my trip, which helped too.) :) 

My nutritious dinner on the bus from San Pedro to La Ceiba...

Praise for...

-The safe journey to Balfate, Honduras.

-Making new friends on the trip here.

-Lisa, for being so loving and generous.

-The boys, welcoming me with smiles and hugs all around when I arrived.

-The amazing good night's sleep I got last night!!!!

-Balfate. I already feel right back at home here. :) 

Getting ready to step off the plane in Honduras!!

I got to the Redmond airport Monday night at 5pm and landed in San Pedro Sula at Noon on Tuesday afternoon. Took a bus from there to La Ceiba, was picked up by lisa around 6:30pm, and then we ran a few errands while in the city. And one of these 'errands' was picking up a little girl from the Ceiba dump (a large community of people live there). She had a very swollen right side of her face, probably infected, was in a lot of pain and needed to go to the hospital. So, we picked her up and took her to Balfate with us, where we fixed up a bed for her on my bedroom floor & she spent the night with me so Lisa could take her to the hospital this morning & get treatment. And this type of thing is normal for Lisa & her boys--if someone they know from the dump needs a ride to the hospital or a place to stay while they heal, her family welcomes them in with open arms. So, Dariana (the little girl) and I became friends and when I went to find her some paper and colored pencils to use when we got home, because she needed something to take her mind off her throbbing cheek, she gave me the sweetest and most sincere smile I've seen in a long time. 

I could get used to this. Wait--what am I saying? 

I love this. 

It's tiring, stressful, a little crazy, heartbreaking, humid, and you can only plan so much--most of the time it's taking it day by day, or hour by hour, because plans are constantly changing.

And I forgot how much my soul feels at peace here. <3  

I can't even explain it--I know I'm exactly where God wants me; I'm at the center of His will for me, and that's a surreal experience.

A little about where I'm at...

Where is Balfate?  <--Here's a map of where it's at!

I'm on the northern coast of Honduras in Central America, about an hour's drive from an actual city with a grocery store, etc. 

I can walk to the beach from the house. :) 

It's hot. And humid. 

Like 80 degrees and 80% humidity. It's also rainy season, so it rains a ton randomly during the week.

I'm living in Lisa's guest bedroom in her house.

There's no a/c, but i have a fan in my room!

I live with Lisa and her seven boys. Yes, seven.

I share one bathroom with the seven boys.

I have decent wifi! Yay!

I'm a 10 minute drive from Hospital Loma de Luz.

There are tons of incredible waterfalls & rivers just a short drive away.

Please pray for...

-Energy. Especially when it's hot & I'm not used to it yet.

-To be able to remember all the boys' names!! (Out of the seven boys, there are TWO pairs of twin brothers...I've already mixed them up countless times since I arrived...)

-Safety. There have been a few robberies lately, in broad day-light, to some of the houses nearby.

-Wisdom and patience. I start teaching the boys English, math, and leading a Bible study tomorrow or Friday. 

-The boys' hearts to just be hungry to learn more about God and full of love.

-My family back home will be at peace while I'm gone and know that I'm exactly where God wants me to be. And that they won't worry too much. :)

Praying for your heart.

Two weeks until takeoff.
Two Mondays from now I will be flying to Honduras! I am so excited for what is ahead.

Just from a quick glance at my calendar, I know these next two weeks are going to fly by quicker than I would like. Although they will be full of good things and fun times, now that the trip is so soon I guess I always get this feeling that there's just never enough time to spend with friends and family before leaving.

But I know God has big things planned for me. And He has big things planned for the people I love, too. And we need to be in separate places for a while to accomplish what God wants in our lives right now.

And I'm praying for not only my heart and the foster boys' hearts during this time, but also for yours.

Whoever you are, for whatever reason you're reading my blog right now. Maybe we've never even met?! Whether you love Jesus like I do, or not--know that I'm praying for you.
I'm praying for this season in your life. Whether it's a season of change, or a season of routine.

I pray that God will open your heart and fill it with the things you've been praying for and especially blessings you never knew were possible--things that surpass what you ever imagined. Because He is just that GOOD. And He loves to bless his children!

I pray that you will be filled with courage.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 
2nd Timothy 1:7.  
Don't forget this powerful truth.

So, as I take this next step in the adventure I've said "yes" to, I encourage you to take the next step in yours. Whatever God has put in your heart that you've been avoiding, or have said "Nope, that's not possible. Not for me. Way to scary. It would never work out. I'm not good enough. I'm not ready." 

Or had the fearful thought of "What if I think it's what God wants, but then I take a risk and it all falls apart?" Know that it is OKAY to be afraid. It's human nature, actually. 

But know that..."You are not defined by the fear you feel, you are defined by what you do about it."

(Said by one of my favorite pastors, and you can check out his teachings here: Ben Courson's sermons )

If God is in it, you will not fail. If it's SO big and bold that you most certainly WILL fail if you try it on your own--then don't try it on your own!! Take the leap and remember who is right beside you. Remember who the all-powerful God is, and that "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

Fear. Change. Peace.

Update: I am FULLY FUNDED for my trip!!!! God is so good, He continually blesses me and answers my prayers in ways bigger than I even hoped for. Thank you everyone for your blessings financially, and more importantly--blessing me and this trip through your prayers.

So, from here on out my blog will be a word-vomit of how this trip is challenging me, impacting stories of people I've met, and experiences in Honduras. So this first post is a totally raw & honest look into my heart and what's been going on the past week.

Yesterday started the one month countdown to when I will be stepping off a plane onto Honduran soil in San Pedro Sula; one of the most dangerous cities in the world, on November 5th. And this past week I've been struggling with one thing in particular--fear.

Fear of change. Of what God has in store for me there. Fear of how much God is going to break me in order to mold me into the woman he desires me to be. Fear of leaving my friends and family, not just for 6 weeks...but when I return back to Bend in mid-December, right after the holidays I move to Portland for a whole new chapter of my life.
Fear of my heart breaking for the boys I will be teaching and mentoring in Balfate--each with an equally heartbreaking childhood and struggles and hurts in their lives. Will I be able to bond with them? Will they like me? Will my Spanish be good enough to become close with them? Will I even be able to teach them English, I'm not a teacher...I'm a nursing student.
Will I be okay traveling alone in one of the most dangerous countries in the world? Once I become involved in the community there, will I love it so much I won't want to come home...and then go through that heartbreak all over again?
But today I skyped with one of my best friends, Emilie Geis, and she spoke truth over me and reminded me that I'm not alone in any of this. And I don't need to be "qualified enough" to serve God in the plans He has for me. I am enough because the Holy Spirit is inside me and God promises that he will never leave me. And how could I forget one of the verses I hold nearest to my heart?? John 14:12...
               "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have  been doing, and they will do even greater things than these..."

God has big things planned for this trip. Things I couldn't ever expect or imagine. And I think that's why I've been plagued by fear and worry this past week. Satan knows that God is going to use me in big ways and wants to do everything possible to break me down and for me to buy into these lies and doubts. But the devil has no power, and I've been feeling so attacked because whatever is waiting for me in Honduras is BIG. So big, that the enemy has gone all-out to keep me from seeking after truth and remembering how huge and sovereign and unfailing my God is.

Even as I remember this, I do still have a feeling of anxiety about leaving Bend. As much as my heart longs to be in Honduras already, I have nothing but praise and thankfulness for how blessed I have been in Bend these past few years. The family and friends I have grown closer to are amazing and I will miss them while I'm away, but even more once I am permanently moved to Portland for the next 5 years starting in January. And I think that's why I'm scared. Not for missing them while I'm in Honduras, but because going to Honduras is the first step in this new journey of following after the huge prayers God has answered for me: going back to Balfate, going to my dream school, and having a job after graduation. The Lord has provided me with my hearts desires just like He always said He would, and now it's time to accept these blessings and live in the center of His will--right where I'm created to be.

My God is bigger than any fear or doubt. Bigger than anything I feel I'm not qualified to do. Bigger than any change; big or small. Bigger than any confusion. Bigger than any danger. Bigger than anything the enemy could ever throw my way. And He's bigger than ALL of my shortcomings and imperfections.

I've been reading the devotional book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. If you haven't checked it out, i HIGHLY recommend it!! Definitely my favorite devotional of all time. And today's reading was exactly what I needed. 1 Peter 5:6-7...

    ^"6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

1 Thessalonians 5:18...
    ^"16 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

God's will for me right now is to remember to TRUST Him.
I know He has blessings and experiences that will help me grow waiting for me. And I look forward to the changes and challenges. And my heart is SO full of love for the boys in Balfate that I get to meet in only a few weeks!!

The song "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman was a song that our Father really spoke to me through during my last time in Honduras. Whenever I hear this song, it's like I'm taken back to the chapel in Balfate and I'm breathing in the humid air again and there's rain pouring down outside through the palm leaves. And I'm tired, sweaty, but feel whole because I know I'm exactly where I should be--in the center of God's will for me.

Progress update...Thank you!! :)

Nothing but praise to offer today!! Last weekend I gave an announcement in front of the congregation at church about my trip and I have been so blessed with words of encouragement, prayers, and funds to  make the trip possible! I am inching closer and closer to being FULLY FUNDED for my trip that is only 6 weeks away. Thank you SO much for each encouraging word and each dollar donated. :) 

It will cost about $1,300 in total for me to go on this trip, and I am only a few hundred dollars away from reaching that!! 

**If you would like to support me financially, please make checks payable to New Hope Church with “Balfate Honduras trip” in the memo. Checks can be sent to 20080 Pinebrook Blvd. Bend, Oregon 97702. 

Que Dios les bendiga!
More posts soon to come about my journey! :) 

Fall Afresh. And prayer request.

I bought my plane ticket yesterday!!!!!! THIS. IS. FOR. REAL. Ahhh!!!! Although I was already in the mindset that it's only 2 months away, now that I actually have my flight booked it makes it even more real. And praise God my flight was $300 cheaper than it was when I went last summer--God is good and a great provider!

I'm finishing up my last three final exams for summer term in the next few days, and then I will be able to focus more on preparing for my trip and not feeling so scattered between juggling everything right now without classes and exams to worry about.

Also...new prayer request: I have a friend who sent in an application to volunteer at Hospital Loma de Luz (that's where I served last summer. Here's a link to their website: Loma de Luz ) and is waiting to hear back from them to see if/when he is going. Please pray that everything will work out in God's perfect timing and to give him peace while he waits to hear back from them. I am SO excited for what God has planned for the community of Balfate and the city of La Ceiba in this next year!

Click below to listen to one of my favorite songs lately:
"Fall Afresh" by Jeremy Riddle

Thank you again for your prayers and support!!

Where Orphans Play

"The same sun that
Rises over castles
And welcomes the day

Spills over buildings
Into the streets
Where orphans play

And only you can see the good
In broken things
You took my heart of stone
And you made it home
And set this prisoner free"

As one of my favorite songs in the past few years, the lyrics really speak to me--serving and taking care of people from all walks of life last summer, including orphans (or children being raised by a distant family member), God has really opened my eyes to the broken hearts in the world, all with a different story to tell. I'm excited to meet Lisa's foster boys only two months from now!! Please pray for both my heart and their hearts to be filled with God's guidance and wisdom and that he would prepare me and the boys for our time together learning and growing closer to Him this fall. 
Thank you again for your prayers and support! 
Que Dios les bendiga. :)

"Hallelujah" by Bethany Dillon
(Click the link above to listen to the song I quoted at the top)

The adventure to come. :-)

Hello everyone!! So you're probably wondering, what's this new blog all about?? The last post was just a song without any description of the blog...

Well, last summer I went to Honduras, and ever since I left I’ve wanted to go back. (You can read up on my experience from last summer if you want, at mariemillerblog.blogspot.com) 

Well, after months and months of praying, I heard from a friend in that area and I am going back in November!! So, this will be my blog for my upcoming trip this fall and I will continue to post on it for anything else blog-worthy in the future. :) 

So what about this new adventure?

My friend Lisa is a missionary in the Balfate area and she asked me to help her with running her ministries and with teaching her foster boys. In November, I will be working with five of Lisa’s eight foster boys (the ones between the ages of 11 and 13) for six weeks. I will tutor them in a few subjects (math, computer skills, etc) but my main focus will be teaching them English, since this opens so many doors for their future. Lisa’s home started with three and has now grown to a lively group of eight boys all between the ages of 11 and 17 years old, all of who grew up in the streets (or in the dump) of La Ceiba. 

Lisa has a heart for raising these boys to be young men with their feet grounded in the Lord, and to break the cycle of poverty and the poor choices many of their family members and friends are making. All of them are in 1^st, 2^nd, or 3^rd grade at the local elementary school. (This is very common in Honduras to not start school until your teen years because it is expensive!!) Once a week I will lead a Bible study for the boys and encourage them to ask questions and learn more about the Father who loves them so incredibly much.

But these boys also need to just be loved. And shown how you can have fun without the harmful influences of drugs and the gangs they grew up around. So, once a week I will take Lisa’s truck and we’ll all pile in and have an “Adventure Day”. There are lots of rivers and waterfalls nearby, and of course: the beach to be explored, too! They need to experience some of their childhood like every child should—full of laughs, smiles, and hugs…and just having good, clean fun! J

I will also be going with Lisa on her visits to the dump in La Ceiba (big city nearby) to help with serving food and providing basic medical care to the families who live among the mountain of garbage there.

But what about school? Aren’t you going to college?!?! Yes. I have been accepted to University of Portland’s Nursing program and will start this January 2014. Because I have a few months before school, I am going to serve in Honduras for 6 weeks this fall. Feel free to subscribe to this blog to keep updated on everything going on as I prepare for my trip and while I'm down there! :) 

I’m posting this to first and foremost ask for your PRAYER.

Please pray for safety during travel, and also while I am serving there. Pray for the boys’ hearts that God would fill them with His love and they would have a hunger for his Word. 

And please pray for funds. It will cost about $1,300 in total for me to go on this trip but I know the Lord will provide!! 

<<If you would like to support me financially, please make checks payable to New Hope Church with “Balfate Honduras trip” in the memo. Checks should be sent to 20080 Pinebrook Blvd. Bend, Oregon 97702. >>

Thanks for reading, and I am excited to share these experiences in Honduras with you! 

PS.
And if you haven't listened to it yet, listen to "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United. This is the song that I feel captures where my heart is with this new chapter of my life.  

Que Dios les bendiga!