Featuring: Jose

Although I've been talking about a house full of teenagers in the last few posts, I definitely need to highlight one of THE biggest answers to prayer for Bethesda Home for Boys--Jose's story. Jose is most definitely still "part of the home" but is now 21 years old and in a different city enrolled in a 6-12 month rehab program (hence him not being in any of my pictures here). 

I first met Jose back in 2013 when he was 14 years old when he was shorter than me, had a squeaky voice, and scrawny preteen legs. My first impression was he is a kid with a contagious smile, never ending jokes, and laughter. Clearly a natural born leader; other kids didn't hesitate to follow his lead. 

Jose's story is a long one full of so many incredible moments where God intervened in his life, along with terribly heartbreaking choices and moments that are difficult to even think about even years after. I don't have any "favorites" in the house...but if I did, it would be Jose.

When I first met Jose, drawing a heart for me

Jose's home environment is a common one: several siblings all close in age, dad was murdered, and a mom that's trying to get by raising a house full of kids with different dads. Then comes along a stepdad who is mean, doesn't care about the kids that aren't his, and even resorts to extreme abuse you don't think any person is capable of committing against children. Unfortunately, Jose and many of his siblings suffered this extreme abuse which at times gave him reasons to leave, but also came with the deep pain of knowing his younger siblings were still in that environment and he wasn't there to protect them (even if protecting them caused him to suffer more). If you're wondering why child welfare wasn't notified of any of this--they actually were (and currently still are) but foster care here in Honduras is very different than in the States and honestly it's a complicated system.

Jose when I first met him 

Around age 9 Jose started using crack cocaine via the bad influences of older street kids he was around. With this came living on and off the street for varying times and eventually involvement in a low level gang in the city. This meant being the mule for drug deals, stealing from people/businesses, and being a look-out for the gang as well.

Jose has been in and out of Bethesda Home for Boys since 2011. This is due to countless times of running away for drugs and just as often for explosive anger. Running away was the way he knew how to respond to feeling hurt even when it was over something trivial. 

Me & Jose on his way to school 

One of the most powerful stories in Jose's younger years is the time he should've bled to death but didn't. When he was 15, he was in the middle of stealing from a business when the guards of a business next door caught him, put a gun to his stomach, and threatened to kill him. Then, a crack head came by and the guards told him to kill Jose for them. He then pulled him to the ground and started stabbing him all over. He stabbed him 32 times and left him in the middle of an isolated street to bleed out and die. Jose describes that moment as he was laying in a pool of blood, felt hot, and saw flames. He heard a voice that said "Hijo, ven conmigo" (which means 'son, come with me'). When he heard this voice he jumped up, saw an ambulance, and started running towards it. This city is not a place where medical care is readily available (and what is is completely out of pocket), but against all odds there was an ambulance near by and at his moment of feeling like he was dying he was able to run to it for help. It wasn't until later that he realized God had literally spared his life. There is no way Jose should've survived what he did that day. The nurse said that when he exhaled, both blood and air was "leaking out of his wounds" and she thought she saw him breathe his last breathe the same moment the surgeon showed up. He went through extensive open exploratory abdominal surgery (hours of digging around) to make sure all the bleeding had stopped. He left surgery with 32 sutured stab wounds, a massive midline incision, and two chest tubes. The next morning, a nurse from the hospital called Lisa saying a kid was there that gave her this number to call. After a week in the hospital, he came back to Lisa's house to recover and restart again. 

Making bracelets (2017)

Over the years, Jose has had a deep desire to get clean but felt trapped by his addiction. Early on he went 6 months without touching crack or other drugs, but after each relapse the periods of being clean would get shorter and shorter, realizing he needs professional help but wasn't ready yet. Really the only rehab centers that were an option were in big cities (very far away from Balfate) and extremely expensive. Lisa, and the many people who have loved Jose deeply and supported him through all the ups and downs, have been praying for Jose to truly be ready to go through the rehab program and that doors would open for it to be possible along with the funds to make it happen. 

Fast forward to now...in January he voluntarily entered into a rehab program that's the kind of program we've been praying about for years!!! Not only that, but there is a 6 month commitment required and he wants to do a full year there instead. By the grace of God and for you all financially supporting him, the funds to cover the first 6 months were raised within 24 hours!!!! THANK YOU!! He is finally putting in the painful hard work and getting the help he so desperately needs. Yes, when he's graduated it will still be a transition out of rehab and back into the "real world", but from Lisa's monthly visits it sounds like he is really making progress and taking it very seriously. 

Jose & Lisa at his rehab center

And you know what's even more amazing?! Not even a month after he entered into rehab, two of his younger brothers joined the house: Manuel & Eduar. It's spooky how similar Manuel is to how Jose was at that age with both his goofy joy & deeply rooted anger issues. Thankfully, Lisa has experience with how to navigate this and Jose is very encouraging of him to stay in the home and choose a better life for himself. It's incredible how not only has God answered Lisa's constant prayer for YEARS regarding Jose, but He also brought in two of Jose's siblings under this roof. Now, both Jose & two of his siblings are on the path to have a brighter future and experience the healing God can do in their lives when they were destined for life on the street like so many others. 

If you're interested in financially supporting what Lisa is doing here with these boys, check out her website HERE and there's a paypal link or the snail mail address at the bottom for where to send checks.

For lots and lots more pics (and videos!) follow me in Instagram: @marskmiller
Feel free to email me if you have any specific questions at srtamariemiller@gmail.com and you're welcome to leave any comments below!

Generations

I realize since my first trip here in 2012 the audience of who reads these blog posts has changed, and so have the boys I'm writing about. So if you've been following since the beginning, or just now hearing about why I go to Honduras every year, I wanted to take some time to explain the structure of the boys home and why there's new boys now.

Little Isaac running ahead of the group, on our way to the soccer field

Bethesda Home for Boys is a nonprofit Christian foster home for preteen & teenage boys. Most of them DO have parents but for various reasons being raised by those parents is either not possible or not a healthy environment. Some examples of the boys' parent situations: parents are abusive (verbal and/or physical), addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, currently in jail, father has abandoned children from first marriage to start a "new family" with new wife, have escaped to the States and didn't take all their children with them, extremely poor and want their kids to have a better life (and basic education) so okay with someone else taking them in, and one of the most common and very sad examples--mom and/or dad is currently raising several other children and acknowledge they can't raise them all themselves. 

Bible study with Leah

With all that said...it's complicated. The home is a mix of some boys that were placed here through the country's foster care system and others whose parents have agreed with Lisa personally (on a year by year basis) to give her legal permission to raise their child. Sometimes it is the parents who push for their kids to live here--but other times it is the 12 year old boy who realizes his life is going nowhere if he still doesn't know how to read, write, or have any job skills and he himself initiates the process of being part of Lisa's home. So although this home is a safe and loving place for them to grow up and go to school, it is also more than just a roof over their head and a hot meal. Lisa's home is focused on helping kids who WANT to change the path they're on and have a brighter future...but the path to get there is the literal opposite of what they're used to. For most of them, this means going to school for the first time--for example: as a 14 year old boy he will start in 1st grade since that's where his education level is at. This is not that uncommon, since many families have to wait until they can afford school supplies, fees & uniforms (yes even the public school here require them) until they can send their kids to school.

Me & Eduar (with the flowers he gave me)

This also means having structure to their day for the first time. Most kids in this home were used to doing whatever they wanted during the day (whether at home or wandering out in the streets) unsupervised by an adult or being raised by an older sibling instead. When they come into the home, they are now responsible for cleaning their room every day, helping out around the house, participating in afternoon Bible study, respecting each other and problem solving without threats and violence, not just attending school but also doing their homework, respecting and obeying Lisa and myself along with having punishments (grounded from tv, sit in timeout, go to bed early, etc) when they misbehave. Clearly, for a kid who has been allowed to do literally whatever they want with little or no consequences/responsibility...this causes some extreme friction and frustration with trying to live in this type of structured environment. YES, there is a steep learning curve (not just for months...but sometimes years) and tons of grace--but also, we are not holding them hostage here; they are here to change their lives and learn as a choice. So unfortunately, that means most kids run away a few times before they "stick". Although heartbreaking when they leave, it's usually over something trivial and they get so angry they don't know what else to do to cope. For example: "someone used my toy without asking and so I punched him. Then I got in trouble, refused to apologize, was grounded from tv for 2 days and then was SO angry I grabbed a backpack and ran away hitchhiking all the way to La Ceiba (1.5 hrs away)". This may seem crazy, but change is HARD. And when they've been in survival mode their whole childhood, even minimal structure/responsibility/consequences grates against all their instincts. If a kid that was placed via official foster care, then Lisa has a meeting with them and their case worker to problem solve and make sure this house is a good fit for them still. Usually, the boys DO come back home either a day or week later and realize their mistake. 

Walking through cacao fields

Unfortunately, since the last time I was here a year and a half ago in November 2017, all of the "original kids" have either left to try to get into the States, have decided to go back to their families (although the environment hasn't changed), or have chosen to live on/off the street. This reality is so heartbreaking it's hard for me to even write about it since I've loved those boys so deeply and seen incredible growth & maturity in them over the years. *sigh* But what's beautiful about arriving and meeting a whole new home of boys is it feels very nostalgic to my first trip to help Lisa with the original boys...now starting from scratch with these ones. What's incredible is most of these boys are actually younger siblings of the original boys in the home. 

Current crew of boys!

From left to right, starting at top row...

David: 17 yo

Alex: 15 yo

Manuel: 12 yo (Younger brother of original Jose & Melvin)

Derik: 12 yo (Alex's brother)

Isaac: 8 yo (twin to Mateo, younger brother of original Cristian)

Eduar: 11 yo (Also a younger brother of original Jose & Melvin)

Mateo: 8 yo (twin to Isaac,younger brother of original Cristian)

So even though the original crew of boys have scattered, some of their younger siblings are now in the home and being brought up under this roof in a loving, God centered, grace for the growing pains kind of home. And I think that's the most powerful piece that's resonated with me so far this trip--that God is still at work in these families and He never gives up on us. 

For lots and lots more pics (and videos!) follow me in Instagram: @marskmiller
Feel free to email me if you have any specific questions at srtamariemiller@gmail.com and you're welcome to leave any comments below! 

Leah & Maria

Hello everyone!! Leah and I made it safe & sound all the way to Balfate, Honduras to see Lisa and the Bethesda Boys after a long weekend enjoying the island of Roatan. As most of you know, Leah and I have been best friends (and roommates) since 2014 and I've been coming to Honduras on average once a year since 2011 helping Lisa with her ministry. So this trip of  Leah coming with me has been a dream of both of ours and it finally happened!!! Here's some pics of our scuba diving adventures over the weekend below:

After a much needed mini vacation full of adventure & relaxation, we made our way out to Balfate which is a little community (in the middle of nowhere) on the coastline of Honduras with the nearest city being La Ceiba about 1.5 hours away. To give you an idea of where Bethesda Home for Boys is at, there is one dirt road that runs along the coastline and connects several small communities. Eventually you pass through Balfate with the beach on your left and see a large gate on your right which is the entrance to the driveway. Once the guards pass you through the gate, it's an extremely steep 1 kilometer long driveway up the side of wild jungle--monkeys, snakes and all. The road is dirt/rocks with several areas of pavers and cement securing the areas that used to washout into a mud pit during rainy season (shout out to everyone who donated to that project!!) Here is the incredible view from the top of the driveway:

View from the driveway

Leah was here with me for 1 week, which flew by WAY faster than we even thought it would. She went back to the States two days ago and we are already missing her joy & laughter she brings to the house. The timing of mine & Leah's week here together was truly amazing as far as having extra hands on deck...because the kids had school cancelled for 2 days last week which meant an unforeseen 4 day weekend for all 7 boys with tons of energy! So our goal for those 4 days was to keep them out of the house and as active as possible, giving Lisa a quiet home to catch up on things & uninterrupted time running errands. After doing morning chores, homework, lunch & Bible study, we took them somewhere fun nearby every day. One day it was down to the beach (hike down the driveway from the house, cross the only street that goes through town, and boom you're at the beach...so amazing!), another was walking an hour to their favorite soccer field which we ended up having all to ourselves (yay!), and for an extra special treat we drove out to Rio Coco which is a beautiful river you hike into with huge boulders to jump off of, swimming holes, and entertainment of just being boys outside and swimming for hours.

Mateo, Me, Manuel

Jumping into the swimming hole

Feeling like I'm in Jungle Book

For Leah's last day we walked around the property to explore & show her all the different crops that Bethesda Home for Boys is growing: plantains, beans, pineapple, bananas, cacao, sugar cane, oranges, limes, corn, avocados, and several different small fruits I don't know what they're called in English. When we were down by the creek that crosses the property, we heard some rustling in the trees above us and were so excited to see two baby "white faced" monkeys playing in the trees above us!! The howler monkeys (Click here to see/hear what they're like...) are all around the house in the jungle and we see them pretty often, but it was a treat to see the little white faced monkeys so up close on Leah's last day. Then we went and played at the beach until dinner time.

The best group photo we could manage....

After evening Bible study, Leah & I sorted through the suitcases of clothes donations I brought with me and picked out a soccer outfit to give each boy. As both a reward for everyone doing a good job not fighting or disobeying (too much) that day and to also celebrate Leah's last night with us, each kid got a jersey/dri fit shirt, soccer shorts or sweat pants, and a pair of soccer socks. The boys were SO excited that they went and tried on their new outfit to show everyone how awesome they looked in it...which of course led to their version of a photo shoot/ strut around looking cool.

Group photo!

Mateo, Leah, Derik

David & Isaac

I can't wait to blog more & share more specific things that are happening in the boys' lives (and mine!) while I'm here...so I'll be posting whenever I have an hour or two of peace and quiet at the house! Hah. Thank you again to everyone who has donated clothes & shoes, financially supported, prayed for, and reached out to encourage Lisa and myself with this ministry. If you're interested in financially supporting what Lisa is doing here with these boys, check out her website HERE and there's a paypal link or the snail mail address at the bottom for where to send checks.

Eduar

For lots and lots more pics (and videos!) follow me in Instagram: @marskmiller
Feel free to email me if you have any specific questions at srtamariemiller@gmail.com and you're welcome to leave any comments below!